Chasing Feeling: The Spiritual Landscape of 'Knight of Cups'
“Save what you can of your life. Don't lose it all just because you've lost a part”
Last night my friend and I watched Terrance Malick’s film Knight of Cups, I have seen a few of him films, so I had an idea of what we were in for. Let me preface that the movie is not for everyone. It is as pretentious as it is beautiful and mystical. Malick is the type of director who finds his “narrative” in editing. Filming and trimming hours upon hours of footage.
The movie on the surface is about a mid 30 screenwriter who is adrift in the profane. Having three ways with models who emboy Kate Moss in her prime, hedonistic experiences in Sin City, enmeshed in a depressive hedonia.1 The burnout of chasing the dragon, the kicker is our protagonist Rick is too numb to experience anything else. Juxtaposed with this is shots of the Mojave desert, the famous Joshua Trees, rock formations and desolation. The desert of the real mirrors the spiritual desert of Hollywood.
What resonated with me the most is how lost Rick is. This is not told but shown in his fleeting attempts at grasping something more. Each lover he encounters is more beautiful than the last.2 The Knight of Cups is associated with change, opportunity, and possible romances. I am far from an expert in both Tarot and Jungian psychology, however, the knight is perhaps the only fruitful bearer of the Holy Grail. Rick is on that quest, as are each of us whether we realize it or not.
Facing not only beasts and danger at every corner but temptation, sacrifice and upsets. Without giving away too much of the “plot” Rick is also carrying the loss of his brother. Trying to keep the peace between his father and surviving brother. Who also is tormented with guilt, paternal rage and is in active addiction. Constantly stating that he “wants to feel something”as he jabs a fork instead of a needle into his arm.
I echoed those same sentiments to my therapist and was met with a quizzical look. Unless you have felt the stings of hellfire you cannot explain the coldness that remains. Your life is an empty shell, hollow, a necrotic corpse remains that searches for any semblance of life. Living in a zombie like stupor, only resting to haunt the ghost of your being.
Needless to say his brother longs to drink from the grail, to experience divine love and instead he settles for tap water. Everyone in the movie is going through their own upsets, even the hermit figure3 who throws lavish parties to hide his true emotions. His philosophy about women and pleasures “They are like flavors. Sometimes you want raspberry, then after a while you want some strawberry.”
The rich, poor, male or female, none are spared the ravages of our appetites and absence of meaning. Everyone is trying to find some way out of themselves, their lostness. Women, work, success, drugs, spirituality, the characters all toy out ways of evasion or becoming.
The movie is far from perfect, at times I was bored, annoyed, disguised and moved. Unpacking the influences and philosophy behind the film would take weeks. From the tarot cards that begin each segment, to the works of Kierkegaard, Heidegger and the gnostic gospels, all are a piece of the puzzle.
What I found most moving was not the change from the aesthetic to the Knight of Faith,4 or the breathtaking cinematography. No, what struck a chord in me was the pursuit itself. That each of us is burdened with our lives, in the sense that we must determine ourselves. Much like Knight of Cups itself, their is no script. We write our lines much like Malick, as we go. We may have an outline or idea of where we want to go, but life has a way of surprising us.
Our hero is flawed and that is why he is so relatable, sure he has wealth, and experiences that many envy, what makes him an everyman is his pursuit of meaning. Much like his recovering brother he too “wants to feel something.”
The women in the film can see that he is trying and failing, some even love him despite it. However, no earthly pleasure, romantic fling, marriage, affair or Xanax cocktail5 will fulfill us.
The movie does not have all the answers, I do not think anyone does. If they say otherwise they are lying to you or themselves. Rick is worth examining because he is a wonderer, a Knight. Trying to find a way out of the woods, into a Heideggerian clearing. He may not consciously know that he is seeking, but until he comes to term with his throwness he will continue to stumble.
The movie hints at a resolution, it is far from linear, so it is hard to see if a resolution or epiphany occurs. However, much like Sisyphus I imagine Rick happy. Whether it is in his cold plunges into the pacific, driving aimlessly or gazing upon the deserts austere beauty. It is clear that everyone is searching, and is united in our lostness. And our need for love and fulfilment.
I am glad I watched it, we need more movies that make us not only reflect but want to experiment with our lives.
“Dreams are nice, but you can't live in them”
The late Mark Fisher coined the term in his most known work Capitalist Realism: “Many of the teenage students I encountered seemed to be in a state of depressive hedonia, constituted by an inability to do anything else except pursue pleasure.”
I am biased here because I have been secretly in love with Natalie Portman since I can remember. Every woman in this film is breathtaking in her own way but the rawness of the emotions Natalie displays and the loss experiences mirrors that existential hole we all feel. Longing for something we long forget and cannot articulate. Confusion and dementia ensues.
The title is a play on the fact that he is an emotional hermit, cut off from others due to his stunted emotions.
Both Kierkegaardian terms, the aesthetic can be understood as a life spent seeking out pleasure and beauty. Don Juan is the example that Kierkegaard utilized in Either/Or. Whereas the Knight of Faith is is Abraham, our absurd hero in Fear and Trembling. He believed God would make the impossible possible. And was willing to risk everything in sacrificing Isaac, and was rewarded with the ram.
One of the playboy types says something along the lines that the perfect mix to get a woman into bed is four glasses of win and a half a Xany.